it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize