i don't like sucking hair
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
