I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
