Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
