apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just high enough for therapy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
