He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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