She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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