One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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