if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize