1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
