isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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