I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
