I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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