Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
