thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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