Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
