if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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