If that was your dad, he is hot
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
