lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
