I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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