It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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