he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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