I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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