In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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