she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
