Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
