i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
