It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
