I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
