I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
