i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
