Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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