conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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