he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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