I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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