remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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