You're so nebulous sometimes
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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