I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
