Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
