the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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