wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
