I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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