this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
