Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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