i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
