dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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