had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
