This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
