I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
