dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
