It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
