We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
