I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
