....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
