She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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