Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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