do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize