She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Randomize
