Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
