I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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