If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize