I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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