i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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