i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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