Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
