I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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