fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
