great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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