Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
tell me about the eggs
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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