Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
