so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
