just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
