If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I could fuck to npr.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
