Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
