At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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