Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
