I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
