I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
