You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
