Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
