Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
