Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Operation extremely regretful is in full effect

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(541): View more from Oregon

its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

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(979): View more from Texas

You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

(713): View more from Texas

When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

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(585): View more from New York

its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck

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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

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(304): View more from West Virginia

As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.

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(226): View more from Ontario

You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.

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(757): View more from Virginia

So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.

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